We're fresh off our celebrity hob-nobbin' high and ready to bring you all the newz that fit to listen tooze!
- Danthrax falls apart
- Heavy duty loves them mashups and you will tooooo.
- What 70's gems will Six Feet Under choose for Graveyard Classics III?
- Juggalos unite to piss you off.
- GG Allin finally gets some classy merch.
- New Slayer sounds like Slayer.
- We reminisce about video game football.
Listen now:
Download the mp3.
It's really tough to distill a genre down to it's very core, and trying to keep any kind of street cred while expressing something that you're passionate about can lead to results that aren't really a true reflection of your taste...
ReplyDeleteAlso... I love Deftones & QOTSA, but they are about as METAL as Silverchair...
Now that I've got that disclaimer out of the way, here's my list o' top 10 Metal albums of the 2000s (so far):
1. Hellyeah (self-titled) - I loves me some washed-up duders pretending to be from Texas, writing badass somgs about drinking & driving! It's cool, right?
2. Rebel Meets Rebel - I got nothing to looooooooose!
3. Nickelback, All The Right Reasons - I think it's incredibly dynamic the way these gents combine easy listening and testicle-less rock music to create fabulous new genres of eye-melting tunes! Yeah! Lick it up!
4. Evanescence, The Open Door - I heard this album in a Hot Topic at the mall with my girlfriends and it LITERALLY changed my life. I have their stickers all over my Trapper-Keeper now! LOL! I heard on Twitter that Amy Lee is really a mythical creature. Fingers crossed!!!
5. Creed, Weathered - Creed's lucid powerhouse of a third album made me dress like Jesus, climb a mountain, and expose myself to the world. Luckily, it was dark, and after I ditched my sandals I managed to outrun the local police. When I got home, I got to thinkin, "Hey, what would Scott Stapp do?", and after a moment of reflection, I turned myself in. Now I have a white supremacist prison tatt!!! Thanks Creed!
6. Bullet For My Valentine, Hand of Blood - I saw these guys at Mayhem Festival, and the singer had a weird accent i didn't recognize, but he told everyone to "get in the pit and let out all your positive energy!!!" and it made me feel all yummy inside! Now I wear panties to all their shows and rub on dudes instead of trying to knowck them down! Best album ever, too!!!
7. Disturbed, Ten Thousand Fists - I wish all the true Metal bands (like Disturbed) had to wear matching leather chaps and choreograph their headbanging! I think it really adds something to the performance. The standout track has something to do with being indestructable, accompanied by some sweet monkey sounds! If you missed this one, you really missed out! You can get it at Wal-mart, and it comes with a sweet ear-piercing/ shave-your-head kit so you can look just like David! Sweeeeet!
8. Static X, Cannibal - When I first heard White Zombie and Ministry, I thought to myself, "Self, this music is too scary! I wish someone would take out all the scary stuff, make it silly, keep the tamborine, and make it WAY more simple and repetitive." Static X answered my prayers!
9. Green Day, American Idiot - These guys are SO Metal and nobody backs me up about it! And that Metal Sucks page (which is a crappy name, if you ask me) didn't even give them one vote! Like anybody knows who Musheggah or Pig Destructor is!!!
10. AC/DC, Black Ice - Once I listened to these guys whole discography for a whole week, and then I realized I'd accidentally set my sweet Zune to repeat! I'd been listening to the same song for over 168 hours and didn't even notice!
Putting these in order was hell. Too bad nothing good came out in the past 9 years... Oy...
ReplyDelete10. Meshuggah, Obzen - Grew into metal with Fear Factory, but THIS album is what those guys should have been doing all along. It's a bludgeoning testament to complicated, heavy music that rips off your face and feeds it to the scariest malfunctioning machine you can imagine.
9. Intronaut, VOID - This album is a gargantuan experience, nuanced with moments of extreme clarity and thundering rage. Metal is rarely this intelligent.
8. Genghis Tron, Board Up The House - An inspiringly original blend of human suffering and mechanical precision, this album shows off the band's ability to find the darkest parts of your brain and leave them full of Langoliers. This is the sound of the future of heavy metal.
7. Chimaira, The Impossibility Of Reason - I wore this record out. For a good two years after it's release, it LIVED in my CD player. The intensity of this straightforward and explosive album reminded me of early Sepultura when it first hit my ears. A massive improvement in every respect over their first release, I was and am powerless to resist.
6. Mastodon, Crack The Skye - I honestly don't know how Mastodon (or anyone else in the field of music) is going to top this one. This is one for the decade. Rarely does an album instantly affect me this deeply, emit a sense of epic drama, and remain consistantly epic from start to finish.
5. Pig Destroyer, Terrifyer - Every single fucken thing about this album feels WRONG, and that's what's so glorious about basking in their bloodlust. Lethal, dirty, fast, and heavy as a sack of prostitute heads... this motherfucker makes you want to hurt people. Ladies beware...
4. Lamb of God, Ashes of the Wake - These guys get sucked off a lot, (too much?), but this list would be incomplete without this album. This one changed EVERYTHING for me. One of those pivotal moments that deter musical interests forever. These guys channeled everything I love about Pantera and twisted it to their own devices. Outstanding in all possible ways.
3. Machine Head, The Blackening - Never would have believed it a few years ago, but this is a real viper of an album. Here, Machine Head is responsible for some of the finest songwriting this side of Metallica. Solid from start to finish, this is the finest album of their somewhat spotty career.
2. Gojira, From Mars To Sirius - Are you fucking kidding me? This is gravity in music form. I've never heard anything even close to this level of density. Fantastic album, recommended for anyone with ears.
1. The Dillinger Escape Plan, Miss Machine - Top of the stack, and for good reason. This one stuck to my ribs, and made me want to play music more than anything I've ever heard. Miss Machine is a sporadic outpouring of ideas and imperfections that move through you so fast you'll swear you've broken the bonds of time and space.
Jeff is the Robin Williams of commenting, he can bring the funny and the serious.
ReplyDeleteAh, yes... but which one is the funny list? You think you know me SO well, do you? Maybe you haven't seen my Trapper-Keeper lately!
ReplyDeleteRunners Up---
11A - Dimmu Borgir, Death Cult Armageddon - Here we have explosive, innovative, dark neo-black metal that burnt the drawing board to a cinder and worshipped the remaining darkness as it smouldered. A full orchestra accompanies some of the heaviest tunes ever, and the drummer alone deserves a fucking medal.
11B - Between The Buried & Me, Colors - These kids channeled the strangest array of influences I've ever heard on a single album... not to mention the bass player just killing it from start to finish.
11C - The Acacia Strain, 3750 - Redefining what the term HEAVY actually means, these guys hit the brown note and leave a goddamn crater where your skull used to be. Primitive, bludgeoning, and too much bass for your car speakers.
I have to agree with Matt on this one: Bon Scott > Brian Johnson. I always felt he just had the raw-rock and roll-lead singer shit down! Also he sported a much better MAN-TOE. Ha! Ha!::gross::
ReplyDelete