Now This Is Some Uber-Uber-Meta Duty

The Heavy Duty invites you to watch this video by Hydra Head recording artists The Austerity Program. We don't know much about these cats other than they encapsulate every single fucking thing we like about music-related stuff: their new full-length was aQuarius Records album of the week, they sound like Big Black, the one dude has a shitload of Electrical forum posts, and they filmed a five minute promo for their band that's just a riff about the sonics of True Norweigan Black Metal. We don't think we've ever seen anything so clever. Black Madonna, here we come!

The Ultimate Interview

We think Celtic Frost's Monotheist is pretty cool so here's a Q & A with the frostiest frontman of all, Tom G Warrior! This guy sure doesn't fuck around.

We Laughed, We Cried, We Fudged Our Undies

Imagine our elation when we log on to Blabbermouth after a hard day's work and the lead story screaming at us is, "JOB FOR A COWBOY, BEHEMOTH, GOJIRA, BENEATH THE MASSACRE: North American Dates Announced"!!! "Holy shit," we thought, "we are soooo there. 'Flying Whales', Jesus-cide grunts, and evisceration blastbeats?!? Where do we sign?"


But then we scrolled down a bit and saw that this tour hits Heavy Duty's Seattle HQ on Halloween. Wait. That's the same day we already bought tickets to see Rollins! Noooooo!!!!! Goddamnit. It seems like every few months we turn around and find some bad-ass metal tour passing us by in favor of California or Salt Lake, but this time when our favorite band of last year is set to open for contenders for our favorite bands of this year and they're all playin' right down the street on the most creepiest day of the year we've got something we never have: plans. What a drag.

But right then we heard a voice that said, "Hey, us, stop being a bunch of pussies! Remember when you fellas drove to Colorado just to see GWAR???" Hey, yeah, we totally remember that, and it made us even more super bad-ass. Why, this Gojira tour (forty-minute set be damned, we're mostly in it for these French duders) stops in nearby P-Town only the day before and we ain't gonna let some goshdarned three hour drive stop us from being the scary metal dudes we always knew we were.

So we're here to tell ya that you too should all take your quarter-assed excuses and shove 'em. Don't let "I'm tired" or "I have to work" ruin what'll guarantee to be a metal adventure to out-metal all metal adventures. Don't you know that Gojira's fucking amazing?!?! That Behemoth is some kind of wickedly brutal Polish blackened death machine?!?!? Or that Job For A Cowboy has crazy hype as new-fangled Death Metal superstars?!?!?

Buy your tickets now. We'll see you at the bar.

They're Angry About Something

We figured it was about time to give ya another Band For Yo Weekend, so this weekend's band to blast is Virginia's greatest grindcore revitaliziers Pig Destroyer. Now we know the Destroyer's just a smidge more extreme than our previous Friday through Sunday soundtrack choices, but we're so excited about the sheer amazingness in these cats that we just can't deny 'em. The riffs so hellish. The vocals so ferociously unintelligible. The lyrics so...poetic? Yes, the Pig Destroyer has a little something for everyone out there whether it be some forty second tunes for the ADD-afflicted or some way creepy concept records for the sociopathic sadists. And, really, who else'll make ya break the speed limit, pray for world annihilation, and writhe in miserable self-pity all at the same time?

Here's "Gravedancer" from 2004's utter behemoth of a record, Terrifyer. And believe us, this song is tame compared to the other stuff.

Only Eight More Posts Like This

So we snagged yet another Thin Lizzy disc which of course means it's time for yet another "Thin Lizzy is friggin' awesome so start listenin' to 'em, you assholes!" post.

This time we picked up 1975's Fighting, a record that delivers more of the Liz's trademarked heavy guitar ballads about boogie-woogie broads and old flames. We like the snappy drumming, signature dual leads, and how we feel so cool to dig a band hardly anyone hypes up. Please enjoy our favorite Fighting cut, "Wild One."